Relationships are extremely important to me because there was a time in my life when I did not feel like I had a single relationship that was good or great. I felt very alone, I became withdrawn, and would lie to anyone who would ask me what was wrong. I never made plans to go any where and I would stay at home on my couch in pajamas all day. The only relationship that I did have and still do is the relationship with my dogs. At that time I had three dogs. I found joy in staying home with them, and did not feel a need to leave. However, this was not the life I wanted to live. I had moved to Arizona leaving behind a horrible relationship and found myself in another terrible one here. After 2 1/2 years I said it was time to better my life. I still had not made the choices to improve relationships at this point. As time passed, I carried on with myself and still was content on being with my dogs. However, this past August, I started working in a new school with people I really liked hanging out with. I started going out more, and opening myself up to a relationship, friendship or otherwise. I started feeling more confident in myself and wanting to go out. In February, all of the progress I made took a turn for the worst when I had to put my beloved dog to sleep. She was my baby and had had her since a puppy. She became extremely ill and very fast. As I watched her be put down, I realized that this relationship was the best one that I had ever had. My dog was loyal, caring, listened and was always there (in that special dog way). After her death, my friends came out of the woodwork to rebuild the relationship we had lost. WIthout the support and help from friends and family, I would have never made it through that terrible time. I am now becoming happier with myself to have a better relationship with myself. I know listen to encouragement and support from others and have become more social. These relationships were not built over night, and it would take a lot to break them. These are the relationships that support me and who I am. Without relationships, I don't believe that we as humans truly exist.
As I reflect upon the statement to list positive relationships or partners I have had or have currently, I was sad at first. I could not think of many positive relationships, even within my family. Then I realized, the relationships I have now are well worth the terrible ones I have had in the past. Currently, I have my best friend Nick, whom I can tell anything to. I then have my work friends, about four of them. I have a positive relationship with my mom and talk to her every day. My cousin is also my best friend and never judges a single thing that I do. I have other relationships that are acquaintances and those are positive, but not like the others. I am perfectly happy not having a boyfriend or husband at this time in my life, and I always have my dogs. :) I am only 27 and have plenty of time.
Over time, I have grown apart from some of my relationships. Age, time, and schedules are simply a few reasons why these relationships did not last. The main reason is a lot of the relationships that I had were negative and I decided they were not healthy. I chose to get rid of them. Another main reason that some of my relationships don't exist is I moved acorss the country leaving my friends behind to start a new life. I am extremely happy with this choice and would never change it.
The most common characteristic that all of these relationships has is support. These people all support me no matter what decision I make. Also, these people are all caring, kind, and understanding and will listen. We have fun together and enjoy each others company.
Having had such versatile experiences with relationships, I plan to use these experiences to help families and children with theirs. It is important to learn from our mistakes, but to pass this knowledge onto others.
I am glad you were able to find people at work that you trusted enough to let in your space, that's not always easy to do. Relationships are hard, and the qualities your dog had are important to find in humans. I also applaud you for ending those bad relationships and putting yourself first, Kudos to you!
ReplyDeleteNatasha,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog and I would like to congradulate you on getting your confidence and "life" back. I continue to wish you all the best.
I would like to also amend you for ending your negative relationships and for focusing on getting yourself together. Things that others say or ways in which they treat us can build us up or tear us down. If we do not feel whole from within others cannot fill the holes for us. We have to make the start to work on self which is what you did. Sometimes when we are not in a good place emotionally and mentally it is very difficult to let others. I am glad to see that you do have friends and family who are positive who can support and help to motivate you. I would like to congratulate you on going out there beyond the comfort of your home and for finding the life that you wanted and for rebuilding relationships and friendships with others.
ReplyDelete